Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
