it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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