you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
