its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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