Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
