She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
We need a shit load of segways right now
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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