I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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