One girl and one boy is just not enough.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
soo... how was my night?
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