Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have feelings that need drinking.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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