Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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