I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Me. At least after what I've been through.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
