the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
