i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
