I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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