i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
