Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
