oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
