I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
