well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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