Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
