Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
