I must be too annoying 4 u.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
