Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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