Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
she smelled like a LAN party
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize