I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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