Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
