Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
