He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize