The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
