I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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