apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
