Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
