My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Randomize
