What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
