12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize