Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
