no. you can't hotbox the world.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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