I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
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