I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize
