Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize