Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
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To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
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I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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