I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
