i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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