I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
