That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'm like, not good at living.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
