Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
