I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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