ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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