I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
