You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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