3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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