glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
