friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
At least life still wants to fuck me.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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