Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
