you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
