Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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