Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
