Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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