tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
