dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
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