what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
