Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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